Tuesday, January 11, 2011

New Year 2011

After the roller coaster ride of 2010, which includes the end of my marriage, moving, starting therapy, and all kinds of interesting and dramatic changes, I'm ready for 2011. I want this year to be more productive - more crafts, more going out, more friends, more pictures, more art!

Of course, I still plan to spend a lot of time figuring out myself. It turns out that being a perfectionist is not actually as awesome as I had originally thought. So here are the lessons I learned last year:

Nothing is Absolute
I had a tendency to think in absolutes, all or nothing style thinking. I would think things like I could have a full-time career,
OR make money with crafts. I could be in a relationship OR I could be in control of my life. These are faulty assumptions, most things are a balance between two worlds. I can be in a relationship AND be in control of my life, there may be some compromises, but nothing that would keep me from growing. But I think that learning to balance these things is a life-long struggle that I'm not going to *win* as much as I'd like to.

Everything Changes
Everything. All the time. People are changing, lives are ending and starting. I lost my Aunt Sherry to cancer, and so many of my friends brought new lives into the world. Some days I'm going to be overjoyed and motivated, and other days I'm going to feel bummed out and want to sleep. But each day is going to be different, and I'm not going to be happy every single moment, or sad either.

Relationships are Work
And everything worth anything requires work. Good friendships and relationships, whether it be with your significant other, your family, or just friends, requires something of you. And the best part is that work is worth it.

Well, again, there's no absolutes there either. Usually the work is worth it, if you're both working at it. Sometimes friendships or relationships are one-sided. If the other person isn't trying at all and treats you badly, then maybe it's worth re-considering.

Anyway, I guess overall, I've learned that moderation is key. Which seems very simple when you just say it, but is really a daily balancing act that is never going to be over.
Moderation is key!

Also, one of the main things that I've learned in the last year from my therapist:

Make HUMANE To Do lists.
Don't put more than you can actually do in a day, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment by overloading every moment and knowing that you can't perform the way you've imagined. Personally, I also like to include things like "eat" and "shower" on my to do lists now, just so they look as full as my old ones, and I get to happily check off those items once I do them. I mean, I can usually remember to shower and eat without a to do list, but there are some days...

Anyway, hopefully I'll be seeing you all more through this lovely blog. And soon I'll actually change the header that is been up there for over a year.
Happy New Year!


Alex Wilson said...

Hey Leah. I'm sorry you had such a year and hope some of the changes end up being positives in the long run. Are you still in the triangle?

zman said...

Yeah you nailed the relationships are work part....

Marg said...

You've had a helluva year, to be sure! I never had any doubt, though, that you would prevail and look damned cool doing so. It makes me so happy to read about what you're up to! Happy New Year, my dear friend! :>

Leah Riley said...

Alex: Thanks for your kind words. I am still in the Triangle area, still doing whatever it is that I do!

Zman: Yeah, learning about relationships is an interesting and hard road, and I realize now I'm never going to know everything.

Marg: Sweetie, I think you may be my number one fan! Thank you for always thinking I'm cool, it definitely encourage me to try and be so! Hopefully this will be a good hub of what I'm up to for awhile :)!