Wednesday, January 13, 2010

When I Grow Up (by Leah, age 30)

Hello Earth people!
I don't know what it is about Januaries, but they are always a time for re-evaluating your life - which should I play, Hello Kitty Online or Star Trek Online? What kind of career should I have? What am I doing here?

I've been seriously re-considering my life as a freelance artist/designer. On the one hand, it has been sweet. This is the kind of opportunity that not everyone gets in their lifetime - to quit their desk job and try a hand at making their career entirely about something they enjoy doing. I would never have been able to do it without my best friend/husband Will.

But, as much as I appreciate all the encouragement throughout the years from all of you, I just don't feel fulfilled in what I'm doing. Of course I *like* what I'm doing, and I do feel I have a certain creative aptitude. I don't think I have the kind of drive/ambition for the daily searching and striving, and I feel I am missing a lot of the self-promotion / business sense needed to really make it.

I have always wanted to do something that reached outside of myself and made me feel as if I'm making the world a better place, and I just don't feel it right now. That doesn't mean in any way that I'm going to completely stop making stuff, because I don't think I *can* stop.

AND, I'll admit it, in some ways, I like the boring stability of a regular paycheck. Possibly one that helps pay the billz, yo. I'm not looking for a lucrative career field by any means, but a more fulfilling one, and that's sort of what I'm spending this week wracking my noggin about.

It may be awhile till I figure out what I want to do when I grow up. I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, don't worry, there will still be craft projects - the world keeps turning, right?

5 comments:

Stuart said...

Would you like to open up a mobile restaurant truck with me? Kinda like a taco bus, but instead we'd do different food each week--savory crepes, sushi, etc.? It's kinda one of my dreams as well.

nicky said...

great ...........................................................

Stuart said...

Well that's a fascinating idea as well, Nicky, but I was thinking more along the lines of food people would want to eat rather than Asian porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

走吧 said...

如此動感的blog!!!..................................................

與毛 said...

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.............................................